Looking back

It has been a sad few weeks.  Our sorrow for Kai continues – added to this several animal friends of ours have died.  Hearing of the losses of such beloved pets brings forth all the pain I experienced in losing Kai.  I am so sad for the families that no longer have their dog or cat.  I am thinking of you and praying.

In looking back over things, I can honestly say I made the right decision in not going back to school this past August.  Nothing could have prepared us or indicated to us that Kai was going to be so sick, but in hindsight something really pushed me not to go back to school.  I can only imagine how things may have been had I gone back.  The stresses of classes which could not be missed, the financial burden and having to leave our precious boy alone on the days when he felt so sick are things I did not have to worry about.  I may not have been there when he needed me and he may have died alone.  I am thankful I was there.

Thinking now of the vet tech classes and then ultimately working in a veterinary clinic, leaves me with feelings of despair.  I do not think each day I could go to work knowing a sick animal may come in and possibly die on my watch.  Add to this the thought that in some way an error on my part may cause an animal unneeded pain or injury, I am just not capable at this point in my life in handling those stressors nor do I have the desire to be around that misery.  I understand each day is not filled with sadness.  There are joyful times, but it just isn’t for me.

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